Internet Safety and Your Tween

Introduction

It’s time to talk to your child about Internet safety. According to a 2006 study by the Zandi Group, three in 10 "tweens" (children ages 8-12) have access to the Internet at home. That represents a very large target for entities ranging from legitimate publishers and marketers to scammers and predators. And a potential risk to your child.

Internet smart, emotionally vulnerable

By the time kids reach middle school, they’re likely to know as much or more about the Internet than do their parents. They use the Internet for schoolwork, playing games, email, instant messaging, downloading music, shopping, and entering contests. But although they know their way around the Internet, they may lack the judgment and emotional maturity to steer clear of trouble. Tweens are, after all, still children. And children are vulnerable. That’s where you come in.

The scope of the threat

To help you better understand why your tween needs your support and supervision online, here are some statistics about the Internet experiences of tweens from a 2006 study published by the Polly Klaas Foundation. You’ll see that the numbers grow and the threats to safety increase dramatically as tweens become teens, which is why it’s critically important to talk to your child now.

Online Threats to Tweens

• 12% of tweens (56% of teens) receive requests for personal information
• 10% of tweens (54% of teens) frequently have private conversations with online strangers through instant messaging
• 5% of tweens (42% of teens) said they have posted personal information online
• 4% of tweens (30% of teens) reported that they have talked with a cyber stranger about meeting in person
• 16% of tweens and teens discovered that someone online was an adult pretending to be much younger

Are you informed about Internet safety?

These additional statistics culled from recent surveys by the U.S. Department of Justice, Cox Broadcasting and the New Hampshire Crimes Against Children Research Center shed light on what parents do and don’t understand about Internet safety. And, again, they highlight the importance of becoming informed and talking to your children now.

What You May Not Know

• 33% of tweens and teens say that their parents know little or nothing about what they do online
• 22% say their parents have never discussed Internet safety with them
• 51% of parents don’t know if they have software on their computers that let them monitor where their children go online
• 42% of parents don’t monitor what their children read or type in chat rooms.
• 95% of parents don’t understand the shorthand lingo kids use in chatrooms, i.e., "A/S/L" (age/sex/location), or "P911" (parent over shoulder)

Talk to your child now

Talk to your child about Internet safety. Recent research from the New Hampshire Crimes Against Children Research Center indicates that children whose parents talk to them regularly about Internet safety are far less likely to engage in unsafe online behavior. Make sure they understand the difference between safe and unsafe behavior online. You do it in the real world. Do it in the virtual world, too. The same basic rules apply in both places. You teach them to not talk to strangers and to not give their name, phone number, or address to strangers. And you tell them why. Explain to them that the same rules apply online, and why.

Ask them to show you the Web sites they visit online. Ask them about who they chat with online. Ask them to show you their page on MySpace or other social networking site. Ask them to show you their list of chat friends, explain who each one is, and how they know them. Remind them of the dangers of posting personal information on public Web sites where it is available to anyone.

Get involved

In addition to talking to your child, pay attention to what they are doing online. There are a number of ways to do this. One basic recommendation is to place the computer that your child uses in a "public" area of the household, as opposed to the child’s bedroom. They are much less likely to engage in unsafe behavior if they are where you can see them.

Be informed. Learn more about the Internet and, in particular, chat rooms and social networking Web sites. Visit these sites so you can see how they work, so you’ll have a better understanding of how they can be misused. Learn about the computer programs and technology that enable you to limit where your child can go online. Learn how you can monitor where your teen has been on the Internet, and what they’ve done there. For example, your Web browser records a history of the Web sites your child has visited. Instant messaging programs show you who they chat with. And there are programs available that let you monitor Internet activities even more closely.

The bottom line. The virtual world is probably no more dangerous or unsafe than the real world. You talk to your child about the real world. You set rules and boundaries, and codes of acceptable behavior. And you explain why. Do the same for the virtual world. The Internet, like real life, is a wonderful place to for children to learn, experience, and communicate. With your involvement, it won’t become something else.